Same Jacket and Shoes - Two Different Ways

Hi everyone! I hope your first week of the year was marvelous! Mines has been really great so far and I am so excited to see what God will do in my life. I am learning to listen, embrace a quiet spirit, and accepting the change<3

This weekend I really flocked to a certain jacket and heels. My mom purchased a AEO moto jacket from Marshalls a few years ago for $15 dollars and it's been a huge staple in my closet. I purchased a pair of nude heels a few months back at the J.Crew Clearance Center in Lynchburg. 

As you all know, I haven't been buying clothes over the last few months. I promised myself that I would experiment with the clothing I already have. With the exception of 4 staple items from Gap, I successfully achieved just that. 

This weekend, I helped throw a bridal shower for a long time friend. I am incredibly happy for her and it was such a blessing to celebrate her. I decided to wear red to match the colors of bridal shower.

For the bridal shower, I paired the jacket and  heels with a striped shirt I purchased 3 or 4 years ago from Aeropostale and a Mario Serrani full skirt that I purchased from Marshalls last winter! I absolutely love this skirt. It fits well and doesn't swallow me hahaha. 

In addition, I wore my Ann Taylor Pearlized Crystal Statement Necklace , which I purchased last winter for super cheap (around 22 dollars). It is currently on sale for 50% off on the website. 

Today, I switched it up for church! I wore my chambray top from The Loft which I purchase two years ago, my American Eagle ripped jeggings which were a gift from my lovely sister:) In addition, I wore a cheetah print belt courtesy of my mother's closet. 

I really love how versatile this jacket and heels are! They really add style to anything you put on. In addition, these two outfits really manifest power of staple clothing items. All of these items (with the exception of the belt) were purchased over the span of 4 years and they can be worn many different ways and in many different occasions.  I am learning that I don't have to purchase clothes every month. My lifestyle has changed since I've been in graduate school and I no longer have a full-time job. In this season of my life, my personal style comes from utilizing what's around me and being creative. 

Thanks for stopping by and reading <3 

xoxo,

Tonyette

& Me

Esther saved her people.

Hannah made a vow.

Mary birthed the King of Kings.

Ruth was a loyal friend.

I just wanted to stop by and tell a little of my story for the And Me, which is a campaign created by Kellee and her husband Dave. I've been following their story since Jan 1, 2015 after their elopement was posted on Munaluchi Bride's instagram. I was  deeply inspired for their love for Jesus and one another. When Kellee announced this campaign in December, I jumped at the opportunity to purchase one for my sis and I! I posted a picture in this shirt last week at Intervarsity's Urbana 2015 in St. Louis, but I didn't have an opportunity to tell my story in the midst of the packed week. Right now, I want to take the time to tell a little of my testimony. 

And Me? Me? Apart of God's story?

If you would've asked me this between Fall 2009 to 2011, I would have laughed in your face. Though I was raised as a Christian, I quickly forgot about God's sovereignty and pursued a life for myself. In college, I pursued things that I thought would give me power and status. I found my identity in great grades, guys, friends, my body/looks and what others thought of me.  I created idols out of these things and my heart was so hardened to God's voice. 

Even then, God still beckoned for me. In Fall 2011, those idols began to crash. I found myself in a whirlwind of confusion. One of my majors challenged me and I wasn't making perfect grades. I attended parties with the intentions of finding the perfect guy. I still didn't feel like I fit in with anyone. I had the hardest time wondering who I was supposed to be friends with on a mostly white campus. I gained and lost weight so fast. I walked around in a fog not knowing that I suffered from depression.I experienced so much emotional turmoil that I couldn't think straight. That winter break, I looked myself in the mirror and I vowed that a change had to occur. I knew I couldn't continue life that way. During that next semester, I joined a local church in Charlottesville and I started attending Intervarsity Christian Fellowship's Oneway chapter. For the first time, I found myself listening to the Word of God. In addition, I created friendships with people who truly loved me. 

During the Summer of 2012, I experienced another idol crashing down. Due to my concern with others' opinions, I took a job I shouldn't have taken. In those moments, I clearly knew I couldn't live at the hand of man-made items and fickle people/emotions. That summer, I spent every night and day studying the Bible. I deleted so much of my old music because I realized the lyrics shaped my thoughts. I started listening to Mali Music and Kari Jobe constantly. That summer I learned that I was God's and I was fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Since then, I have experienced so much peace, love, and joy in my heart. God has provided me with amazing friendships, restored relationships with family, career plans, purpose. I was once was lost...He found me. I wasn't perfect. Quite frankly, I was a hot mess as we say in the South haha. He met me there and changed my life so much in one year. I spent years creating a life for myself and God has orchestrated so many beautiful happenings in my life. I am grateful for the manifestations of some and I can't wait to share others very soon. 

So I just like Esther, Hannah,  Mary, and Ruth, I too am apart of this beautiful, amazing, joyful redemptive story. I am in this beautiful lineage. Every morning I wake up, I embrace it.. I live it...it fuels me.  

Sisters, brothers....you are apart of this story AND guess what? it doesn't matter where you are. It takes a willing heart and God will transform your life. 

At Urbana 15, David Platt delivered an amazing message. He said, "This is the life that counts - a life in love with Christ. Does your heart belong to Christ?"

All of these things....grades...people...plans...money...parties...cars....organizations....they don't matter. Yes, they complement you, but they don't identify you. Those things crumble, your identity is what stands. 

What story will you tell with your life? What identifies you? 

Please know you are already made precious. 

Take care!

xoxo,

Tonyette 

PS,

Want to talk? 

Email me at trw8aw@virginia.edu or follow me/ DM me on Instagram @speak_yoursoul 

Don't forget to breath

So after 3 weeks of chaos including three projects, two papers, two presentations, two finals, two counseling self evals, one research conference presentation, one 25th birthday, one (nasty) cold, I am finally finished with my first semester of graduate school. 

I can't say I was incredibly stressed like I was in undergrad because I know I am fulfilling my purpose. BUT I took it incredibly serious because I want to be the best school counselor I can be for my future students and I am paying for this education.  This semester, we've wrestled with a lot of hard topics including : poverty, school to the prison pipeline, tracking, gender inequity, ethics etc. Throughout this season, I was balancing all of these topics and I realized -  crap - I'm going to be responsible for these kids. By mid November, I spent a lot of time in tears and frustrations. NOT because I didn't think I could do it, but because I knew I needed to see the hard stuff to see my role. I knew I had to balance each piece of this profession. 

But you know...it wasn't until I breathed that I felt like could juggle
 each piece of this journey. I am being pruned and shaped for this position. 

Funny how the last four weeks are representative of life's struggles. We may get so bogged down in the many roles we have, the weight of the responsibilities...that we forget to breath.  We forget to see that the challenges we are facing or the journey we are taking are ultimately transforming us for the next step in life. We get caught up in the busyness of life...we don't breath, pause, and reflect.

Today, I randomly attended a yoga class and for the first time in three years, I finally appreciated the fullness of my breathing. Instead of focusing on my instructor twisting us into pretzels, I listened to her cues for breathing in and breathing out. I controlled my breathing....one...two...three...breath in....one...two...three...breath out. I felt the rise and fall of my chest...the expansion of my belly. Before I knew it, my mind was incredibly still. I didn't focus on the challenging poses, I focused on my breathing.  It was empowering to be in tune with the very faculty that gives us the blessing of life everyday.

Yes...the three weeks of chaos came and went. I definitely learned a great deal about balancing the great deal of information. Finals week(s) reminded me that it won't get easier. Life will throw many responsibilities and challenges at me. Life will throw many responsibilities and challenges at you. How will we deal? I will suggest sitting down to think about what makes you happy. Create a wellness plan for dealing with craziness and busyness (#selfcare) AND stick with it. 

Don't sacrifice your well-being for work and things that will always be there.

Instead,
    pause
    care for yourself
    and...
    don't forget to breath <3 

“The Lord Almighty has sworn, ‘Surely, as I have planned, so it will be and as I have purposed, so it will stand.’” — Isaiah 14:24

#tbt

Today,  I am reflecting on how far I've come as a person. The other day I rambled through my jewelry to find this lovely necklace. I begged my parents for a gold nameplate necklace when I was 14. I was obsessed with the nameplate earrings, rings, belt....and I am not ashamed to say I've owned each one of them in my life. The belt is definitely hiding in my closet, but I have all the others in my possession.

I haven't worn this necklace in about 3 years. I wore it briefly as an undergrad, but I stopped wearing it because I felt like it was a fad that no one followed anymore.  Thanks to my mom, she kept it in safe possession and it moved with me in August.

This necklace reminds me of a few things.  I am obsessed with names and labels. I believe there is something so special about a name/label. Even though we don't have much choice over our names at birth, we have the ability to embody those names or tag on definitions. My first name is completely made up lol. I love it though because it carries a piece of my dad. His name is Tony and it is rumored that I may have been named Tony Reginald for a few days. I am so glad my mom tagged on the -ette hahaha.  Good try dad!

I am also reminded of the labels I've embodied as a woman. I have not always seen myself in the most positive light. I've struggled with my personality, my nerdiness, my height, my body shape, my skin...I labeled myself as an outcast. For me, I am so glad that I embody a label that is so much deeper than the eye can see. I am free, redeemed, His, called out, not condemned. Due to the sweet love of my Father and His Son,  my identity is strong and anchored <3. 

This necklace also reminds me of my 14 year old self <3  I was an ambitious, passionate, and spunky little girl. Even though there has been a lot of challenges along the way, I am reminded of the girl who wanted to go to college and change the world. I am grateful for her bravery and resiliency and it has laid a foundation for how I identify and live my life now.

I turn 25 in less than a month and I am so thankful. Today I am choosing hold tight to that young girl and live golden like the shininess reflected off my necklace.

I am golden
        loved
        blessed
        favored

I am Tonyette 

Fall reminders // grow up & strong and embrace your hue

Hi everyone! 

It's been a while since I've posted - graduate school has been really hectic. I finally had some moments tonight where I intentionally took some time for myself. Over the past two weeks, I have been battling with what type of student I was and who I am now.  In undergrad here at UVA, there was definitely this mentality among college students that you have to forsake so much of yourself for the sake of making  a grade. I now know I am much more than a grade and my major. I now know that I am called to be a student for this season. I am Tonyette and I happen to be a graduate student. BUT, I am not defined by it - I define WHY I am here and WHAT I will do with my degree.

 In 2011, I definitely sacrificed my peace in order to be perfect and I blinked and the season changed. I literally....missed....Fall that year. I don't remember what happened, I just remember being in my thoughts and my world. I don't really remember much about anything, I was in a fog. While I am now able to label what happened to me as depression, I believe my actions and striving kept me from truly taking in the little moments of life. I was incredibly sad that I let my favorite season move past me.

 Although my memory was hazy, I remember one event that gave me a sense of hope and stillness. I attended Trick or Treating on the Lawn and as I watched happy children, dogs, and families, I was reminded of the beauty of human connection and love. I remember snapping photos of the entire lawn and I went back to that photo to remind myself to be still. 

On Friday I attended this event and I reflected on my life journey and growth. I laughed with my amazing classmates and witnessed the beauty of human connection and love. I saw the creativity manifested in the costumes and the love in the eyes of parents as they watched their children. The weather was crisp and cool and I felt the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet. Overall, Friday evening reminded me to be still and cherish the moments.

Fall is such a special season for me. It marks a time when I reflect on the last few weeks before my birthday. The scarves, boots, and tights become my besties. Most of all, the colors of the trees remind me of growth and change.  I find it amazing that trees just grow, they don't possess the means for comparison- they grow up and strong. In the fall, each tree is a different color - red, orange, gold, yellow, brown, burgundy, etc. They grow amongst one another, yet they are vastly different. 

I can't help to think that is the way we should look at the world.  Instead of comparing ourselves to the next person, what if we could grow up and strong and embrace our different hues? What if we happily watched our friends and family flourish as we thrive as well?

Don't allow life's circumstances or personal goals to stop you from seeing what is happening around you. Don't allow yourself to blink another moment without being present. 

May your joy be palpable. 

Trick or Treating on the Lawn 2015

Get up, get dressed, embrace the random and live in purpose.

For the past three weeks, I've been battling a really icky and horrible sinus infection. As a result, I just felt like I've been put behind in my relationships, school work, and physical upkeep. I spent the past week, preparing for tests and papers and I literally felt uneasy. I became very overwhelmed by cracking open a school book or researching for my papers. I realized that I wasn't leaning into my purpose and not giving myself grace. 

My friend recently reminded me that we do have to take our crafts seriously in order to fully operate in them. Whether that entails studying for a test, training for a marathon, or working a carnival as outreach, we have to take fully embrace the purpose. Yesterday I was reminded that I can give myself grace as I embrace my purpose.

I woke up and immediately threw on an outfit because I didn't know if I would be meeting my mentor at a cafe that morning or if I would be relocating to study. My mentor held Bible study here at my place and I kept this outfit on. At the end of the study, she told me she liked my outfit and we randomly had a mini photoshoot outside of my living community. I wore the outfit because it made me feel good.  In the randomness of the "shoot" - I was reminded to seize opportunities and embrace the here and now. 

Outfit:

Levi's Jean Jacket

Top from Marshall's 

Skirt from Old Navy 

Heels from J.Crew

Earrings and Necklace from Target 

I'm totally embracing the randomness and the here and now. 

Remember, no matter what season you are in, you still have purpose <3

xoxo,

Tonyette

THE Graduate School App Process!

Photo courtesy of Relentlesswriters.blogspot.com/
2015/03/find-your-passion-write-your-stories.html

For the past two months, I had this bright idea to write this post. Funny how....graduate school has definitely been in way haha. After working as a college adviser AND applying to graduate school at the same time, I realized how challenging it actually was. I thought "oh...I've done this before AND I talk about college all the time...this will be a breeze" and honestly it was incredibly challenging. It literally took 7 months of energy AND I worked full time.

For me personally, I only looked at Masters of Education degree programs for Counselor Education. As a result, I will only talk from the experience I have in applying to these programs. If I could condense my graduate application experience - I would definitely sum of 8 points you can consider :) 

1.) Don't force yourself in a box and heavily consider your professional interests: Many graduate school programs are geared toward training for a profession or giving you extensive background on a specific topic.  During my last year of undergrad, I did try to apply to graduate schools (I did apply to one program), but I honestly only did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Throughout my entire life I only thought about college and never my career. I was so grateful that I did not decide to enroll in program! I realized that I was not mature enough and I honestly did not know what I wanted to do.I am so grateful I took two years and worked. Through my work narrative, I discovered my heart for adolescents.   Don't force yourself to apply if your heart isn't it it. Please cognizant of your passions and dreams. You will be training or studying the topic extensively for 1 to 2 years. 

Although I decided to wait, I have plenty of friends who decided to go straight to graduate school. These young ladies and men are passionate about their disciplines.  In short, reflect on your passion and heart for a topic before committing to it <3 

....whew....let me get off my soapbox

Photo courtesy of racetoamillion.co.uk/blog/
wp-content/uploads/2008/04/research-icon1.jpg

2.)Research and Visit Schools : Research for Master's programs is definitely interesting.  While researching program, many website contained concise information.  Usually the sites will give you a sense of the mission, the application requirements (GRE, Recommendation, personal statement)As a result, I would suggest visiting the schools before you apply, email the professors or directors, or take advantage of online webinars or information sessions.  

3.) STUDY for the GRE :  I am laughing at this one because I honestly thought that this test was my chance of redemption for my poor SAT/ACT study habits. This time around, I bought myself a study book and made flash cards. The Cracking the GRE study guide was definitely my " bae" during Fall 2014. As I look back, I don't  think it helped much with math, but it definitely prepared me for the Verbal and Analytical Writing sections. I would suggest the Kaplan GRE study guide because it really has higher reviews than the Princeton Review.  Try to limit your studying to a certain timeframe to insure you retain the techniques (1- 1/2 months). I studied from very late September to mid November. After 1 1/2 months of studying I think I hit my study threshold...or tolerance haha. REMEMBER the GRE is a test measuring your ability to analyze and use certain techniques to answer the problems - not a test measuring your ability to memorize.

4.) Reach out to potential recommenders EARLY :  I contacted my former professors and supervisors in early September to let them know I would be applying to graduate school. In addition, I followed up in late October and November to let them know I would be using their information in my application.

5.) Write your heart on your sleeve : When writing your personal statements - BE PERSONAL. Write about your personal experiences and don't be afraid to brag on yourself and your background. Make sure you address every piece of the topic and adhere to the word limits. In addition, pull in key pieces from the program and address how the program will shape you and what you could give to the program (if applicable). 

via GIPHY

6.) Interview:In contrast to the undergraduate application process, most programs will want to schedule an interview with you!  You will either be invited or the interview will be a part of the application process. Some schools may not conduct interviews. I encountered all three cases! Stay flexible and confident during the interview process. I had interviews that were canceled due to snowstorms.  Flexibility is key when you have to  reschedule or travel a lot. Read up on the program or brainstorm possible interview questions. Survey your closet and see if you have appropriate business or business casual wear (I would suggest this be done a week in advance). Try to strike a balance between your individual style and professionalism. For my interview days, I wore a black cardigan, a black top with ruffled sleeves (I thought it represented my personal style), gray slacks, and heels ( bring flats ladies).  During interview day, truly consider whether the program and professors will fit your needs. BE CONFIDENT and OWN YOUR BACKGROUND! 

via GIPHY

7.) Follow your heart: When you receive your acceptances, consider which program will fit your needs, your learning style and your personality. Definitely consider tuition rates, job opportunities, and environment.  Personally, I would encourage you to follow your heart when picking your program.  I ended up coming back to my Alma Mater. I was super passionate about experiencing a different campus. I tried to rationalize why I should go elsewhere. I realized this program was the one for me. I am so incredibly grateful for my awesome professors and my cohort.  

8.) Say Thanks : Write thank you notes to your recommenders and verbally thank those who supported you through the process. My parents, sister, friends, and co-workers were so amazing during the process. 

via GIPHY

I really hope this was helpful and I tried to give my honest advice about the graduate school application process. Feel free to email me at tonyettew@gmail.com if you have any questions OR leave a question or comment at the end of this post.

xoxo,

Tonyette